Sunday, April 5, 2015

What they don't tell you.

So, most of you figured out why I went on hiatus from the blog....I got pregnant.


But it was so much more than just that.

We had been trying to get pregnant for months and months and it was really hard.

Then I got pregnant and was not really prepared for what happened after the positive test.

There are things people just do not tell you about being newly pregnant...

so let me fill you in.

When you are actively trying to get pregnant, like really trying, no one tells you that the process is really hard, confusing and sometimes heartbreaking. The fertility monitors, apps, thermometers and calendars - ugh.

No one warns you about the panic and elation that ensues the moment the little blue double lines appear. "Did that glass of wine I had the night before hurt the baby? Is everything alright down there? I am going to be a mother, holy crap, this may be the happiest moment of my entire life!"

The fact that you find out so early these days is sorta hell. We found out we were pregnant exactly two weeks after conception. So that meant that I still had to wait 4 more weeks to see the Dr for the first time.

And oh gawd, the wait was torture for sure. So much can happen in those 4 weeks and I was a nervous wreck. I was always wondering what the Dr would find at that first appointment...would my little blip have a heartbeat? Would it just be one or two babes in there? I know this sounds crazy but I did not really allow myself to get too excited until that first appointment. After that, I was in love, once you see your little one on an ultrasound monitor it all becomes so real.

Hormones, totally not prepared.
Enough said.

The most surprising thing out of all of this is that from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I felt this overwhelming sense of protection and love for my little babe. I never expected to feel this emotion so soon or for it to be so intense. I would lay down my life for this little alien inside my body, plain and simple.

I realize that there is not a magical hand book to this or a rule of thump that applies to all. This is the biggest adventure we have ever taken on and we are bound to make our fair share of mistakes. What no one told me was that even after all this anxiety, stress, concern and worry, I would be excited, happy and over the moon elated to take on this amazing challenge called motherhood.

For all the mamas out there, what were some of the things you were just not ready for?
Please tell me I was not the only one.

xoxo

And please know that I am just expressing my pregnant, hormonal opinions here. Everyone's journey is totally their own and this is just part of mine. I wrote several posts before my secret was out and hope you find them real and relatable.

11 comments:

  1. I felt many of the same emotions with my first! We struggled with a bit of infertility both times, which makes the entire process very emotional. Hope you are enjoying this journey! It's such an amazing experience! I'm sad for my pregnancy to be over soon.

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  2. I loved reading this!! I can't even imagine all the emotions you go through, but this was really great to read and sort of get my head around what will happen one day!! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

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  3. Ugh the waiting to go to the dr and to announce it to the world has to be SO hard! Especially when you've been trying so long. And I already have crazy hormones, I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I finally get pregnant. Yikes!

    <3, Pamela
    Sequins & Sea Breezes

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  4. This is pretty spot on. I was thinking about lunch meat I had had a week ago with my first pregnancy when I found out haha. That moment you see your little one is incredible though!

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  5. The waiting game has to be so super hard! I loved reading this! I can't imagine all the things that you aren't ready for and quickly find out, because there is so much to learn!

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  6. Oh my gosh. You were definitely not the only one! We had some trouble in the beginning and actually went to a fertility doctor and did the charts, blood work, etc. It was stressful! I was a MESS the first few months because I kept feeling like something bad was going to happen. The fears and worries jump at you immediately and don't stop! I prayed a lot and tried to trust that God was watching over my little one in there, but it's crazy the feelings that you get as soon as you see that on the test!

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  7. i love this and i totally agree! when you find out you are pregnant it's exciting and terrifying all at the same time. i worried a lot during the first trimester but just try to enjoy it and be optimistic!! xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  8. What a sweet post! Is it crazy that I simultaneously can't wait for this but I'm also slightly terrified?! Congratulations on your pregnancy :)

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  9. Congratulations again! It seems like these days everyone around me is getting pregnant just when their husband looks at them. Even though we aren't trying yet, having difficulties conceiving is one of my biggest fears. Thanks for keeping it real :)

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  10. I'll never forget seeing that positive pregnancy test and just thinking Holy Explicative. We were trying but I was so in shock that I had to take my dog on a walk, alone, to comprehend the magnitude of what was happening. It's an amazing journey and it gets even better once they arrive into the world! So excited for you little mama!

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  11. Oh my goodness, I love the true emotion that you shared in this post! What a beautiful journey that is ahead of you! So excited for you! Xo, Stephanie

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