Where is Home?

"Where is home for you?"

Reid asked me this question once.
At the time,  I was too busy eating my tacos to really take him seriously so I almost ignored him.
What did he mean where is home for me?

I thought it was simple...

My home is my parents house in Williamsburg.

Was I wrong?
This was my gut reaction...so clearly, I went with it.

Home is my childhood house.
My bedroom, which still has my pictures from high school up on the walls.
The staircase that I walked down my entire life.
The yard that I spent hours roaming around and have my childhood pets buried.
The living room that we spent every Christmas in and still do.
The window I used to stare out of, waiting in anticipation for my brothers to get home from college.
Home is the house I grew up in.
Home is where my parents are.

Honestly, I have an unhealthy relationship with my parents house. In my mind, it's this all powerful "being" that was there for my entire childhood. It opened it's doors for me when I was brought home from the hospital. Saw me take my first step and go on my first date. It's front porch supported my parents every time I got in my Honda and went back to college. The image of my mother crying and waving goodbye will never leave me.  It's walls have a million stories all about me. It wrapped it's arms around me and was always my safe place.

But was all this still true?

I wasn't sure until I saw the look on Reid's face, which immediately told me no.

And then he spoke and the words that came out of his mouth hit me like a ton of bricks.

So simple. So true.
And so what every single girl wants a boy to tell her.

"I want your home to be where I am.
I thought your home was our home.
I think my home is where you are."

After getting over the fact that I had been a complete ass, I felt this overwhelming sense of love for him and the home we are creating in Richmond. I was determined to change my way of thinking and take his words to heart.

A house is just a building with walls, windows, paint and doors. The memories you make in that house are the strong foundation that make it a home.

As we prepare for Lucie's arrival, I feel the overwhelming sense to make our house a home. A home that she will one day remember with the same kind of love and fondness that I feel towards my parents house. And that starts with a major change in mindset. My parents house will always be a home in my mind. I will always love turning onto their street and walking through the front door. It's just not my home anymore. My home is with Reid and our growing family.

xoxo

The Crazy News.

This was one of those posts that just sorta wrote itself.
My fingers found the keyboard and within 15 minuets this happened....

My husband finds it depressing that I know more about what the Duggars are up to or which of the OG teen moms is pregnant again but cannot tell him who is currently in the running to be our next president....
Clearly by his eye roll, Jim Bob was not the correct answer.

I try really hard to read the Skimm every morning, but find myself just skimming over it to read their witty sub titles. They really are quite clever.

And if it weren't for the CNN updates on my iphone, I wouldn't have a clue what is going on in our world, much less our country or Virginia.

  I find the news highly biased and down right depressing. Everything is so negative and there is just so much hate and blame. It's not that I don't care about what is going on around me, believe me, I care too much. I just don't understand why can't we empower people and use the news to celebrate the real heros in this world?

Last night my phone kept blowing up with updates about Baltimore.
I went to turn on the evening news last night in bed and to my horror, I had to use the search button to find it. It's sad but true that I could not find a news station...they were no where near Bravo, MTV, TLC or even the Food network.
I settled on one and hunkered down to watch the craziness unfold.

I was not prepared.
 Not prepared for the riots, curfew, state of emergency and just all the violence.
I could not believe my eyes.
My little protected bubble was popped and I was skyrocketing down to reality.

It was like scenes from a movie. A movie that I did not sign up to watch. I was mortified and scared for our fellow country men and women. I am pretty sure I sat there with my mouth gaping open for minutes...not wanting to believe that we could do this to each other and thinking about the world we are bringing our little babe into. It scared me to think about what this world will be like when our little ones are adults...what are we laying the ground work for?
All that came to mind was Ciaos.

I could feel a can of crazy about to burst open...so off it went and on went re-runs of Big Bang Theory.
Out of sight, out of mind.

Do I live in a state of denial?
Maybe....probably so.
Am I happier for it?
Yes.

I'll just stick myself back in to my little bubble of denial and float blissfully on by. I'll accept my husbands teasing with a smile on my face and then proceed to tell him all about Bruce Jenner and how Kim is in full support of his transformation.

Call me crazy, but I am just not into the news.

xoxo

Not the Perfect Blogger.

If my extended hiatus has taught me anything, it's that I am not the perfect blogger.

And I'm ok with that.  

Being a blogger is really hard stuff and there is no such thing as being perfect at it.
And quite frankly, I sorta suck at it.

There.
I said it.

Trust me, I dream about the days where I am able to stay on track. Stay the course. Be like one of those bloggers who never seems to miss a beat no matter what is going on in their lives. Keep the perfect home and fresh flowers on a clean coffee table. Actually finish one of my 56 drafts and have a few waiting in the wings.

but the reality is.... that is just not me.

In real life I am messy, un-organized, thrive in clutter and love to work right up to a deadline. I don't care if dishes go un-washed for a day or three. My clothes never get put away, they live on the tufted couch at the end of our bed. I can never find anything even though I swear I know exactly where it is. I write birthday cards and forget to mail them all the time.
I am sorta a hot mess.

But life is sorta messy.
And sometimes it takes being able to take a step back to revisit and revise to really accept who you truly are.

 I am a non-domestic, monogrammed obsessed, southern blogger who tries really hard to keep it honest and fun. I will not apologize for not blogging or going on hiatus or for letting life get in the way anymore. My blogging ebbs and flows and sometimes I need to just check out for a few. And please believe me when I say that it is not because I don't want to write and get all of your great feedback, it is because I cherish the time on the couch with my husband and pups. I am clearly one that gets easily side tracked and needs to be pulled back down to reality.

I am cool with being a not so perfect blogger.
In fact, I really like it.
It is so me.

But I am back, for real this time.
Maybe not every single day, but definitely back and ready to fill you in on all the happenings that's been going on since my last pathetic post.

Chat with y'all soon!

xoxo,

CAD

happy birthday to me!

Reid brought this to me this morning! He can be soo sweet, sometimes!

 

Today I turn 29, that’s right folks the last year of my twenties and for some reason I am really excited about it! I have to say that I have had a magnificent twenties and fully expect this last year to go out with a very big bang! I am so excited about the life that Reid and I share with our two crazy pups and thrilled that I have Virginia Sweet to express all my crazy dreams and thoughts.

 

but wait y'all, I am turning 2-9!

 

 dammmnnnnn gina….. and now reality is knocking on my door.

 

yea, I am super excited about this next chapter in my life and all but I also have this little ache in the pit of my stomach. You know, the one that says stuff like “did you accomplish all that you wanted to?” “am I the person that I wanted to be now when I turned 20?” “why haven’t you started working out yet” “Weren’t you going to be better at this and that?”

 

 Good Lord!

 

So it hits me… I am well overdue for a coming to Jesus meeting with myself and stat! Don’t worry y’all, I will let you tag along for the ride…. be careful though, it could be a bumpy road!

 

Needless to say, I have big things in store this year…promises to myself that I am putting out there publically and vowing to hold myself accountable for, travel, finally get my house un-packed and closets organized, be a better friend and so many more that you will just have to check back!

 

so happy birthday you ol’girl, put your big girl panties on and get ready for a one heck of a year!

 

xoxo,

CAD