I never thought those words would come out of my mouth…. but
it is the honest truth. I have been MIA for quite some time, not only on
Virginia Sweet but in life. I checked out for a couple months to deal with some deeply personal and
not so fun stuff…
This past July I
thought I had nicked myself shaving under my arm pit and by mid August, I had developed
a cyst along with a painful rash. I finally went to the doctor at the end of
August where I was placed on my first round of antibiotics. The weeks and
months that followed were rough to say the least. I was passed back and forth
to 4 different doctors, 7 different antibiotics, 2 surgeries and weekly trips
to doctor’s offices. I was basically on
an antibiotic from late August to early January and nothing seemed to work.
In
October, my surgeon confirmed that I had developed a staph infection and all
outward signs pointed to MRSA. Every
single culture that was taken tested negative for MRSA but we could not find an
antibiotic that would fight my infection. I was diagnosed with a “Super Bug”
meaning that I have a form of staph that is resistant to most antibiotics. My surgeon looked at me one day and said “I
hate to tell you this but you have stumped me, I just don’t know what else to
do”. So I was sent to a dermatologist
that specialized in dermatological diseases. Things got worse before they got
better as they always do. In November, I was placed on a long term antibiotic
and things were looking brighter for the first time in a while – THANK GOODNESS.
I was on this drug, along with 2 topical antibiotics, for a month and by mid December things
were almost cleared up. I was over the moon excited! We
went out, celebrated, I drank a lot (I had not been drinking due to the antibiotics
all Fall), we traveled to South Carolina to see Reid’s family… things were
getting back to normal.
or so I thought…
Christmas eve, I
noticed another cyst under my arm. Due to the holiday, my Derm could not see me
until the 27th. It was by chance that I also had my annual
with my OB scheduled for the 27th in the morning and then my appointment
with my Derm that afternoon…. My poor OB got an ear full when she asked “How are
things?”…off I went in grave detail about my experience over the last 5 months.
She asked if she could look at my underarm and very casually said, “You know
what? This looks like a skin disease called hidradenitis suppurativa.”
what.the.hell.
This is all I could
come up with….. what the hell is that? What the hell is my OB telling me this for;
doesn’t she know I have already been to like 4 other doctors? What the hell do
we do to get rid of this thing? What the hell were my other doctors doing this
whole time? How the hell do you even say or spell this disease?
My OB explained that
this disease is common in “other” woman parts of the body so she sees it a lot.
It normally does not manifest into staph (lucky me!) and my other doctor's first
priority was to treat my infection. She wrote down the name of the disease on
her card for me to give to my Derm.
You better believe that
the first thing I did when I got back to work was Google this crazy sounding
disease….. WHAT THE HELL? This is a chronic, no cure autoimmune disease that is
very hard to diagnose and most people end up on antibiotics for the rest of
their lives.
I was very emotional
that afternoon when I saw my Derm, I just handed her the card and told her
about my morning appointment. She took
one look at it, went and got her laptop, brought it over to me and showed me her
notes from our first appointment…. “Patient shows signs of HS (hidradenitis suppurativa)”….
She had been suspecting this all along but needed to get rid of the antibiotic
resistant staph. I felt better but what
did this mean for me longterm?
My Derm removed the
cyst that day and sent it in for testing. Prescriptions were written for long
term antibiotics to be used at my digression when I am flaring or felt another
cyst coming on. I was stitched up and sent home.
After my blood tests
and biopsy of my cyst came back – the results suggested that I did indeed have
HS. First came the tears.... then a sense of relief. I cannot tell you how relieved I felt just knowing what I had – finally after
6 months of craziness…. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my
shoulders. Each week that passes after my diagnosis is better than the one
before it! Things are brighter and brighter everyday!
My close friends and family know the health struggles and
depression I have been fighting and it is only in the last month where I feel
like my old self again. I want to thank everyone in my life that pulled me
through this. Thank you to my work family, who dealt with my hysteria and
crying before and after dr’s appointments with such compassion and grace. Thank
you to my girlfriends, who checked up on me, made me go out to dinner and loved
me when I was not a great friend in return. Thank you to Kristen, my BFF, who
called me and put me in my place, who would not let this disease and depression
get the best of me. Thank you to my family and especially my parents, your
tireless support and encouragement meant the world to me. And the biggest thank
you goes out to my Husband… Who would have thought that when you said “in
sickness and in health” meant dressing, cleaning and shaving my armpit? You
have been my rock through this, even though I lost my patience and cried a lot
because you did not do things exactly as the dr did, you are amazing and
supportive.
This was a really scary post to write but very important to
me. There are so many things that I wanted to say…. things about my depression
and fears but at some point, I have to stop feeling sorry for myself, and start
living. I AM learning to live with HS and things are going pretty great! I had
another break out last month but I used my antibiotics and caught it early. See
…… brighter and brighter each day!
Xoxo,
CAD
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